Chapter 13 - The Truth in Room 418
The oncologist did not realize Ruth didn't know.
That was how August's secret ended.
Not through confession.
Through paperwork.
Room 418.
Johns Hopkins.
The same hospital where Ruth had spent years fearing bad news for Poppy.
Now she sat across from a doctor speaking about August.
"Given the progression since diagnosis—"
Ruth stopped him.
"Diagnosis?"
The doctor looked at August.
August looked away.
Ruth felt cold.
"What diagnosis?"
The room went silent.
The oncologist's face changed.
"I'm sorry. I assumed—"
"Assumed what?"
August whispered:
"Ruth."
She turned.
"What diagnosis?"
He closed his eyes.
"Pancreatic cancer."
The words did not fit inside the room.
Ruth stared.
"When?"
"Two months ago."
Daniel stood near the window.
His face went white.
Walter sat down.
Poppy wasn't there.
Thank God.
Ruth rose.
"Two months?"
August reached for her.
She stepped back.
"Don't touch me."
Pain crossed his face.
Good.
For one ugly second, she wanted him to hurt.
"You knew for two months?"
"Yes."
"And you said nothing."
"I was going to."
"When?"
Silence.
"When you died?"
"Ruth."
"You drove my daughter to treatment while you were dying."
"I wanted—"
"You bought things."
His expression changed.
She knew.
"The house."
August said nothing.
"What else?"
"Ruth—"
"What else?"
Walter answered quietly.
"Trusts. Education funds. Medical provisions."
Ruth laughed.
It sounded broken.
"You planned our entire life after you were gone."
"I wanted you safe."
"You wanted control!"
The doctor quietly left.
Ruth moved closer.
"You think love means arranging everyone so you don't have to watch them suffer?"
August's eyes filled.
"I have watched enough people suffer."
"And so have I!"
Her voice cracked.
"Do you know what I would have done with those two months?"
August looked at her.
"I would have sat with you."
Silence.
"I would have memorized stupid things."
Tears ran down her face.
"The way you hold coffee. The sound of your cane. The face you make when Poppy cheats at cards."
August broke.
"I didn't want you counting days."
"I was already counting them! I just didn't know!"
He looked down.
Ruth cried openly.
"I love you."
August's face lifted.
It was the first time she had said it.
And it hurt them both.
"I love you," she repeated. "You stupid, impossible man."
He covered his face.
Ruth stepped closer.
"You didn't protect me."
"I know."
"You robbed me."
"I know."
"Don't do it again."
August looked at her.
"How long?"
She swallowed.
"Tell me."
"Doctors think three to six months."
Daniel turned away.
Walter closed his eyes.
Ruth sat beside August.
"Then we use them."
He stared.
"You don't leave?"
"I'm furious."
"That isn't an answer."
"I'm going to stay angry for at least forty-eight hours."
Despite tears, he smiled.
"After that?"
Ruth picked up the ring box.
She opened it.
August's breath stopped.
"You planned to ask?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Before I became a coward."
She looked at the ring.
Then him.
"Ask."
"Ruth—"
"Ask me."
He swallowed.
No kneeling.
His leg couldn't.
No speech.
He simply held her hand.
"Will you marry me?"
Ruth cried harder.
"Yes."
Daniel laughed through tears.
Walter turned toward the window.
August slipped the ring onto her finger.
It fit.
Of course it did.
He had measured one of her old rings while she slept.
Ruth looked at him.
"We're not having some giant mafia wedding."
"I've already canceled the tigers."
She stared.
He smiled.
"You joke now?"
"Terminal illness has broadened my personality."
She hit his shoulder lightly.
He winced.
She panicked.
Then he laughed.
For one fragile hour, death waited outside the room.
They told Poppy that evening.
August wanted to do it.
The four of them sat in the library.
Daniel remained nearby.
Poppy already knew enough.
She climbed into August's lap.
"You're going to heaven?"
Ruth cried immediately.
August kept his voice steady.
"Not yet."
"Later?"
"Probably."
"Can doctors fix it?"
"No."
Poppy buried her face against him.
"That's stupid."
"Very."
"I don't want you to."
"I don't want to either."
She cried.
August cried.
Ruth cried.
Daniel left the room because he couldn't.
Later, he punched a wall until his knuckles bled.
August found him.
Daniel shouted:
"I just got you back!"
August stood in the doorway.
"I know."
"Ten years!"
"I know."
"You don't get to die!"
August's face broke.
"I know."
Daniel collapsed against him.
August held him.
The brother he had lost.
The brother he had found.
The brother he would leave again.
And that night, for the first time, August wished he had never found happiness.
May you like
Not because it wasn't beautiful.
Because now he knew exactly what death would take.
