Chapter 7 - My Father’s Real Birthday Present
Dad apologized for the cake.
Not to Nathan.
To me.
“I made your birthday about my anger.”
I looked at him.
“You smashed chocolate cake into an abuser’s face.”
“Yes.”
“Top-five birthday gift.”
He smiled.
Then became serious.
“I should have asked what you needed.”
He was right.
Dad’s instinct was protection through action.
Margaret’s had been protection through disappearance.
Both loved fiercely.
Both sometimes forgot the person being protected needed choice.
So Dad gave me a second birthday present.
A key.
“What’s this?”
“Cabin.”
“What cabin?”
“A place near Lake Michigan.”
He had rented it for six months.
“In case you want somewhere Nathan doesn’t know.”
My eyes filled.
“Rental agreement is in my name. You can use it or not. I won’t ask.”
That was perfect.
Choice.
I used it.
For three months.
Quiet mornings.
Water.
Therapy by video.
Long walks.
No mansion.
No Whitmore lawyers.
No reporters.
Dad visited only when invited.
Margaret came once.
We sat by the lake.
She looked at the water for a long time.
“Does it bother you?”
“The water?”
“Yes.”
“Sometimes.”
“Why come?”
“Because I’m tired of oceans belonging to Richard.”
I understood.
We talked for hours.
She told me about Nathan as a child.
Sweet.
Protective of Caleb.
Terrified of disappointing Richard.
It hurt to hear.
But I wanted the whole person.
Not because it excused him.
Because understanding prevented me from simplifying my own life into a fairy tale.
Bad husband.
Good wife.
Dead mother.
Evil aunt.
Reality was messier.
Margaret asked:
“Do you hate him?”
“No.”
She looked surprised.
“I’m afraid of him.”
“That’s different.”
“Yes.”
“And now?”
“Less.”
That was progress.
Then Margaret said:
“I hate myself for leaving him with Richard.”
I turned.
“No.”
“I did.”
“You escaped someone who tried to kill you.”
“I was his mother.”
“And alive.”
She cried.
I took her hand.
“Richard created the situation where every choice hurt someone.”
She looked at me.
“You really believe that?”
“Yes.”
“But Nathan became…”
“I know.”
I didn’t finish.
She understood.
Nathan was responsible for Nathan.
Richard influenced him.
Fear shaped him.
Money corrupted him.
But adulthood came with choices.
May you like
He made his.
That became a truth both Margaret and I needed.
