Chapter 4 - The Woman at the Baltimore Hospital
The specialist's name was Dr. Simone Carter.
She was fifty-four, sharp-eyed and direct.
Elena liked her immediately.
Damian did not.
That probably meant the appointment was going well.
Dr. Carter placed Damian's scans on a large illuminated display.
“The malformation is here.”
She pointed toward a dark cluster.
“Near the left supplementary motor area.”
Elena leaned forward.
“What happens if it bleeds again?”
“Anything from temporary weakness to permanent neurological impairment. In the worst case, a major hemorrhage can be fatal.”
Damian remained expressionless.
Elena grabbed his hand beneath the table.
He looked down.
She refused to release it.
“What are the options?” she asked.
“Observation is technically possible.”
Damian immediately said, “That's what I prefer.”
Dr. Carter looked over her glasses.
“That's because you're a lawyer and lawyers enjoy pretending delay is strategy.”
Elena almost laughed.
Damian did not.
Dr. Carter continued.
“Given evidence of recent bleeding and your age, I recommend surgery.”
“What are the risks?”
“Temporary weakness is likely. Speech disruption is possible. Permanent deficits are less likely, but not impossible.”
Damian withdrew his hand.
Elena noticed.
“How successful are you at removing lesions like this?”
“Very.”
“That isn't a percentage,” Damian said.
Dr. Carter smiled thinly.
“Neither is marriage, Mr. Brooks, yet people enter those with far less information.”
Elena looked down to hide her reaction.
The doctor reviewed the procedure.
Awake mapping.
Functional imaging.
Motor monitoring.
Several days hospitalized.
Weeks or months of rehabilitation depending on outcome.
Damian asked twenty-seven questions.
Elena counted.
When he finally stopped, Dr. Carter looked at her.
“And you?”
Elena swallowed.
“What happens if he waits?”
Dr. Carter's expression grew serious.
“I cannot predict whether the next bleed happens next week, next year or never.”
Damian nodded as though this supported his position.
Then the doctor added, “But the lesion has already demonstrated activity.”
Elena turned toward him.
“When can surgery happen?”
Damian stiffened.
Dr. Carter checked her screen.
“Next Wednesday.”
Six days.
Elena felt Damian go cold beside her.
“We need time,” he said.
“You have six days.”
Outside the hospital, Damian walked faster than Elena.
She followed him across the plaza.
“You're going to do it.”
He turned.
“You don't get to decide.”
“No. But I'm allowed to have an opinion.”
“You filed for divorce two nights ago.”
“Exactly. Which means I have absolutely nothing left to lose by telling you when you're being stupid.”
His eyes flashed.
“What if I wake up unable to speak?”
“What if you don't wake up because you refuse surgery?”
“What if I need someone to feed me?”
“Then someone feeds you.”
“What if I'm not—”
“Stop.”
Elena stepped close.
“You are doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Trying to make yourself disposable before life has a chance to hurt you.”
Damian's jaw tightened.
“I don't want you trapped.”
“You don't get to decide what traps me.”
They stared at each other.
Then a woman's voice called his name.
“Damian?”
Both turned.
A tall brunette in a navy coat approached them.
Damian's expression changed.
Not affection.
Alarm.
“Claire.”
Elena recognized the name.
Claire Morgan.
Corporate litigation attorney.
Damian's colleague.
The woman Elena had secretly wondered about for nearly a year.
Claire smiled at Elena.
“I didn't know you were coming.”
Elena's stomach tightened.
“Coming where?”
Claire looked confused.
Then at Damian.
“You didn't tell her?”
Damian closed his eyes.
Elena felt the old terror return.
“Tell me what?”
Claire's smile disappeared.
“I'm here because Damian asked me to be his medical proxy.”
The world went silent.
Elena looked at her husband.
“You asked another woman to make medical decisions for you?”
“Elena—”
“When?”
“Two years ago.”
Claire looked uncomfortable.
“I should go.”
“Yes,” Elena said.
Claire left.
Damian followed Elena toward the parking structure.
She turned on him before they reached the elevator.
“This is what you meant by protecting me?”
“It wasn't romantic.”
“I don't care!”
People nearby stared.
Elena lowered her voice.
“You trusted another woman with whether you live or die.”
“I trusted someone who wasn't emotionally connected.”
“Exactly.”
Damian flinched.
“You deliberately chose someone who wouldn't love you enough to be devastated.”
“Yes.”
Elena stared at him.
“You are unbelievable.”
“I changed the paperwork.”
“When?”
“This morning.”
She blinked.
“To whom?”
“My father.”
Elena laughed bitterly.
“Still not your wife.”
“You gave me divorce papers.”
“You made that happen!”
The elevator doors opened.
Neither entered.
Damian looked at her.
“What did you expect me to write? Elena Brooks, the woman I spent three years pushing away, who now wants to leave me?”
“At least it would have been honest.”
He stepped closer.
“What would you have done if I'd named you?”
“I don't know!”
“That's why I didn't.”
“No. You didn't because trusting me still scares you.”
He said nothing.
And Elena suddenly understood.
The diagnosis explained his behavior.
It did not erase it.
Damian was still choosing fear.
She stepped into the elevator.
He followed.
When they returned to the hotel, Elena packed her suitcase.
Damian stood in the doorway.
“Where are you going?”
“Boston.”
His face changed.
“You're leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Before surgery?”
“You haven't agreed to surgery.”
“Elena—”
“You asked for ten minutes so I could understand why you destroyed our marriage.”
She zipped the suitcase.
“I understand now.”
“Then why are you leaving?”
“Because understanding your wound doesn't mean volunteering to keep being cut by it.”
He went completely still.
Elena walked past him.
At the door, she stopped.
“If you choose surgery, call me.”
Damian stared at her.
“And if I don't?”
She met his eyes.
“Then I won't watch you destroy yourself too.”
The door closed behind her.
May you like
For the first time in years, Elena was the one who walked away.
And Damian finally understood what losing her actually felt like.
